Excuse of the Day is Food Poisoning

DEARESTEST!!! first I had food poisoning! YOU can ask my house mate Kui who will confirm this because she has been feeding me porridge and fruits. In fact I have been updating the Toi facebook account from under my blankets, and I will also have you know that we have vicious rude mosquitos that bite even at day time and are resistant to Mortein Doom! I have been working under duress without pay!
I got up to dress very late (being weak and stuff) so we caught very poor lighting and as you know today there was no sun. you can see here the sun is on my ahem!! hair but half of me is bilaz, so I look like fanta and cocacola and as you know I am not the one to put half baked shit over here just like that, So concider this sneak peak my way of showing you that I am trying (yes even me I can whine) you know the way losers always whine about trying their best! yep thats me.
And I have been complaining about my camera, which we should do a harambee to help feed Damaris and to buy a camera. FEED THE CHILDREN. FEED AFRICA! that usually gets white people writing cheques very fast, you should try it, writing a cheque, a very rewarding feeling.
I am going to do this properly! (cross my heart and hope to nini:-)

Juliet tells me that my picture is being used somewhere somewhere! This is a sign that I am getting famous, now I had promised on my facebook wall that when I get famous and rich, kila mtu ata kula kabambe ya 10 bob, but now that you are so many I see I had spoken a bit fast. I am negotiating
with my lawyer one, James Orengo so we can reduce that Kabambe to 3 bonga points each. This is a good thing considering one bonga point is 10bob.

I am not going to say how I promise that kesho  etc etcetera just know I will do this thing properly.
Incase you are struggling with that forgiveness thing, here is a song from India Arie that I used to play to my ex in a loop, not because of love but you know when you have broken up and you are drunk on good wine and have your phone and now you are feeling all shades of confident. You are ready to stalk with sms and emails and sms and some more smses, you are texting him crazyness, he should know he is the most bogus man you have ever met !, Useless!, if you had to sleep with him to save the planet, you would slit your wrists first, Good for nothing run over shoes!! Crooked nose, potatoe teeth!, rugly assed  m*****cker!!! AFTER ALL I HAVE DONE FOR YOU!!!!!!
He is still not responding? thats when you hit him with India Arie!

Cheers! Now where the hell is my drink!


  1. Hehehe... that last part is just too funny!

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