Coffee and Crumbs

The laziness that has entered my bones? I dont know what to do with myself, I have not left the house and the way am supposed to get my weave! I am useless!

Now ebu take a good look at this picture of me in usago na kikombe ya thermos, looking like I just jumped out of a United Nations Food Program poster, and the other of me sitting somewhere in Frankfurt just looking fine like as if I was Naomi Campbell. And then tell me that makeup is not a friend. Makeup is good for you! And please remember it should enhance your natural beauty, do not sheila your face madam!
The picture I put up on facebook of the women advertising that blush, here is one of the ladies on her own, even you if you look at her face does it look nice? MakeUp should enhance your looks I will repeat that until Our Lord returns if I have to!
Anglia vile ana kaa tu kama yeye! I found this on the blog of Essence magazine ile ya USA and am just still walking around with alama ya mshangao on my forehead!
I still don't think a dark woman like her and me need blush, we had discussed on Toi Facebook and some of us think if done well it can look nice. Now you know me, I am always willing to learn, so if you can do you face real nice and use blush, feel free to show us the light.

I am a small body but since age is catching up with me, and at what speed is this yawa!  I have seen the need to do some form of fitness to tone up my muscles and fukuza those dreadful cellulites but up to date, I have been doing them mentally. I have several yoga and stretching videos, I will be leaving some here once in a while so that you can do them and do them physically not mentally like me. By the way that mental exercise thing I read it somewhere!

Yes for the ambitious beginner, get your butt off the chair!

Since you have all been so nice, am going to give away one dress from my closet. I know some of you have never won anything in your entire life other than that t-shirt you got in primary for collecting the most amount of money for "hunger walk" this is  your chance:-) so just keep it here!

You all must know now the way I love watching adverts and scratching my head over them, but this THIS HAS TO BE the most effective billboard ever made in this country! I dont need you to tell me that if I drink it I am a king mara standing tall one, standing tall where and pilsner ice is taller? or Guinness drinking at the table of men or something along those lines, I dont know why they always try to be philosophical and try to be deep about stuff. Just show me the damn beer!
Like the Diva soap where they were telling us ati if you wash with that soap you will have diva qualities. As in you ingia the bathroom a meek woman and you chomoka a Jeniffer Lopez?! Please! let me not even get started on the beautiful Golden bread mama who is in her house alone hugging bread, who the hell hugs bread!! ata ukipenda mkate aje, look I love chips but imagine if you walked into my house and found me on the sofa hugging a packet of chipo, si you will just fall on your knees and start praying?!
Lakini this one!
This is what you see when coming from bus station, derailing masufferer wa Mungu for nothing, yaani you can forget what you went to do in tao and ingia the next bar haraka haraka and they way bars are many just around the corner from this! Walk straight to the bar and go like "Tusker baridi, na uzilete mbili mbili. sitaki mchezo."


  1. Wa si I have laughed!!! Tusker igiri!!! But why didn't you talk about the blue eyebrows!!

  2. LOL! I have been looking at those eyebrows in wonderment!! just speechless!

  3. Heheheheheheeeee.......
    Meanwhile me I lik the blue eyebrows.... even that pose of hers is too deadly.

  4. hehehehehe! I have laughed...I like the way you write. Its like I am actually sitting in a room with you, listening to you piga the storo, actions and all, as in body gestures etc...eih! Nimecheka! enyewe, I do not drink beer, lakini that ad, got me day dreaming of shukaring tao and jumping into the next bar for a cold one.....hehehe...ati masufferer wa Mungu...wah! hehehehehe!...waiting for the next story kwa hamu!

  5. derailing masufferer wa Mungu for nothing... quite funny.

  6. Wah!i have seriously laughed my head off with the UNFP poster to Naomi Campbell.Totally hilarious.I must agree though that make up does do wonders.I will definately be borrowing a leaf so I can move from the UNFP program face to Naomi Campbell ;-)