There we go! Sai. Again. You remember what I posted on Facebook? The way today I am feeling warm and fuzzy and lovey dovey. Anyway Our headmistress miss Sai was honoured for her work recently. Last week Miss. Sai and a bunch of other phenomenal women were honoured at the first Women mean Business Entrepreneurial & Leadership Brunch.

You can read the story here at ALUX. You might also want to know that ALUX- African Luxury Mag is the fabulous project Sai begun after BecauseIamFabulous. Please visit that site and see for yourself. In fact every time some white folks want to bring for you stories of how Africa is sijui I dont know what what, just send them that link.

Before I continue, let's take a moment and appreciate Sai's walk-in closet that I know some of you would sell your mothers for...

In that respect (ebu look at the way I am writing proper professional journalistic stuff). As I was saying, along those lines I feel that I need to honor some phenomenal women, I call my friends. You know us women have to stop these cheap jealousy, you see a woman is doing good, mara they are show offs, mara they slept their ways up there, mara. Woman STOP it! Be happy for your fellow species. We should strive to acknowledge and cheer other women on.

I am going to be doing pieces on women in between the fashion talk that I usually do. So let's get on with it.

Ms. Liza Mucheru-Wisner

I am sure most of you know Liza from the USA TV series The Apprentice. If you are grazing the same fields with Donald Trump, you are a super human in my books. Now, I know Liza from way back when I was a receptionist at Iconnect Ltd. (Yah I was).  Her brother  - Joe Mucheru who now heads Google Africa, was our boss. Liz is a super mom, a woman with an outstanding business head.. ok sometimes I just cannot do these women enough justice with my limited writing skills.. so here is something small from her website..

Liza Mucheru Wisner is an award winning business performance advisor and top 3 finalist on Season 10 of the television show, “The Apprentice”, with real estate billionaire Donald Trump. As a native of Nairobi, Kenya, Ms. Wisner ventured to the United States on a golf scholarship representing Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi’s Islander women’s golf team. She previously won the Kenya National Championship title and represented Kenya at regional and international golf championships.

That Liza is dong some amazing charity work on top of her career and duties as a mother is worth mentioning. That she is a golfer; and I know if she where to go head on head with Tiger Woods, she would thrash him, is also worth mentioning. That you may think I am just flossing my women folk around is duely noted.

To learn more about Liza please go to her Website lisawisner.com - be inspired.

Wanjiru Kamau-Rutenberg

Wanjiru and I were in the same class in high school. Wanjiru is one of the incredibly smart ones, she has her own foundation, she is an assistant professor at a university in San Fransisco; she just moved jobs to Director at AWARD -  African Women in Agricultural Research and Development. Surely will I ever catch up?!!!!!! Its like akina Wanjiru were in class and I was peeping through the window during lessons in school.

To add this to her long list of achievements, she too is a super mom, super wife and well super woman. She has been with the love of her life for 10years and counting -- huko you, you cant even hack 6 months.

By the way I call her Wanjiru because I am her friend. For you its DOCTOR as in Dr. Wanjiru N. Kamau-Rutenberg.

To learn more about Wanjiru go to these links:  Akili Dada, University of Fansisco and CGIAR - be inspired.

Zohre Esmaeli

For those of you who follow this blog. You know Zohre. I have featured her here before. Zohre is my friend from my days in Europe when we were shuttling from one European country to the next doing modelling jobs, and a thousand plus one castings that never turned out to to be jobs.

Zohre is really a remarkable young woman - I woman I am proud to call my friend, the younger sister I never had. She has grown from a young scared girl to a power woman! A woman who has gone through a lot, a lot, a lot to be where she is standing right now.

Annnnndddd... (drum rolls please) HER BOOK IS OUT!!!!! I have said that on my wall like one thousand times but here I am saying it again.

Haiya?!! you think I am lying? Ebu angalia kwa bookshelf in this bookshop. So, have you seen it? Zohre's book can be found on Amazon. You are a smart girl get the book (ehh some basic german knowledge might come in handy here)

love you to bits baby.

Shots from our last holiday together in Italy - Porto Ronto .. uuuwii!! I miss her!!

Now to learn more about Zohre go here to her facebook page zohreesmaeli and or her website: www.zohre.de. And as I said early some basic german knowledge will help, or just go stare at the pictures, you will still get it. You are not stupid. - Be inspired.

Patricia Lulu Mbela

Lulu, I know through Angelina. A friendship that has stuck since. If you are a fashionista on the kenyan scene and you do not know Pat, sijui you should go hide where. Lulu is the force to reckon with in the kenyan fashion industry. Lulu made the bold move to leave this crazy Nairobi and move back to her roots that can be traced to the sandy coastal line of kenya (I hope I am not starting to sound like that blogger I dislike called cabuga) 

Lulu's - Patricia Mbela- for you. is really phenomenal. I have blogged her like 1000 times. Her work is amazing, to die for.. si you see for yourself if you think am ongezaing salt. 

  

Lulu as you know is the brains behind the fashion lable POISA. Lulu is venturing into a really difficult place. Bringing fashion week to Mombasa. And by fashion week I mean a real fashion week, not those 2 hour affair we have been seeing allover the place they are calling fashion week, kumbe it a 2 minutes affair.  This is a project that is very close to her heart. Lulu I believe is a pioneer in the kenyan haute couture and off the rack fashion scene.

Do you know how difficult  it is to give kenyans something that they have not seen? The obstacles, the heartache, the agony. But Lulu is a soldier! Mombasa City Fashion Week is coming to Kenya in October 2014, this thing is going to work either way. I am on board. Please go to the MCFW page and show some support by liking the page. And then while at it go to POISA's facebook page and learn something. - be inspired

Deliah Awuor

Yaani you were thinking how now a jaluo is not being featured in here, sem on you! Anywaysssssss...

Deliah is like the super super model of in the kenyan market right now. And I know her. I know her because she is a super model. And I am in the business of knowing all fabulous people. I met Deliah the first time I think, at the shoot of The CocaCola - a billion reason Commercial shoot. I know you think I lie. But since I know some of you are the doubting Thomases, here is the commercial.

And because I know some of you have selective blindness, here (below) is me.  My part: I am Last Year's Miss Kenya and I am handing over the crown to the new Miss Kenya like this...

Bow down to the queen! Yes, thats me right there!! and even though you think it is not me, mi pesa nilisha kula. Yaani can you imagine that, me Damaris Muga as miss Kenya. Ei tho! I love commercials, My dreams are valid! I am the crown princess of all miss Kenyas that have been and will ever be! Even I do not understand what I have written there. Sema #wordsalad. So have you noticed the tagline that is with my part? and so is the most beautiful woman. Which is kind of awkward, because I am acknowledging that I am no longer the most beautiful woman on the land "mirror mirror on the wall" moment right there. What more can I say....Main British awaits me.. If you are new to the blog just toggle through, you might meet Main British.

And here is Deliah, trust me, there is no one in their right mind who would cast Deliah anything else as the super super model she is. Yes I am repeating myself. It is my blog, I do not care if you think I am not professional!! Aki I will remind you of this professional maneno till you say "please dama we get it, just stop! So as you can see here is my Delia, doing it right!

I do not lie- let me inject something here, these outfits are all from KikoRomeo , You know that label right? If you do not, google is a friend- I do not think it was necessary to use the word inject in this sentence, but it is in line with my being professional. Just roll with it.

I do tend to get carried away, but as I was saying... Deliah and I know each because she is a model and well; models do tend to catch up with one another, and we have talked the way people of Kisumu talk to each other, because we are important people in this society and important people must talk to each other. The Jaluo in me may rear its head occasionally, but get used to it, you are in a market - TOI.

Deliah is phenomenal and she is pushing boundaries. A 34 year old Super Mom doing what most of us just dream of doing.. I can see all the 30+ year old women doing azonto, azonto.. If you do not know what Azonto is, please kill yourself. 

Si you wish you were looking like that right?

Deliah is on facebook at deliahipupa. She also recently entered the Nivea Black & White cover model Competition. Please ladies go to the NIVEA link and vote for my girl. Thank you very much.

Isn't she stunning? ber yawa!!! kendo ber adieri. (ask your luo friend to translate that) And yes you need luo friends, some of us are related to Lupita, Barak etc itisi..... and you?

Here is the link to voting. NiveaBlackAndWhite. I know I am repeating myself, but what the hell ... all the same, I cant say it enough, please vote and - be inspired

Foot note.

Darlings, we need to support each other, talk good about each other; yeah okay we are allowed the occasional bitching about the bitches who are back stabbing us. But that is all in the line of being girlfriends. Call your girls, its Friday, go out for the drink (that's is what I do with my girls) you can also go to your chamas, bond with your girls, support, uplift, cheer, encourage each other. Laugh and Cry together. Look at this picture. I called Asha who is my niece. I am sure you recognise this photo from my last shoot and Asha brought her girls and they had a blast!!

Look at them all Lipstick Jungle and oozing Sex & the City in my poor backyard.  (which some persons said was not professional, do you have 12,158 followers on facebook? shame on you)

Anyway, I look at this picture and it melts my heart. You need your girls. The ones that will stick with you over the years. Let me tell you something girlfriend, the older you grow, the more difficult it is to make new friends, you need the old girls, who know your village background. Of course as you are climbing the career ladder, you are meeting new people, who only know you in your corporate/business "perfect world" But you need that girl who stuckwithu. (do you want a soundtrack with that?)

The girl who will cry with you and laugh with you and hold your hand in difficult times. And Shout the loudest when you are doing your acceptance speech. Your Girlfriend  You need her and she needs you. Because she is the girl who is going to tell you shit as is. And yes there will be brake ups. If at this moment you and this girl are fuming at each other and you are reading my blog, pick up the phone and tell her this, "listen bitch I am only calling you because damaris asked me to and because I love you to pieces and I miss you terribly"

Finally I must say this again. I, Damaris Muga is deeply honoured to know these women. And most importantly to call them my friends.

And if you tell me about spell check, sijui I am not being professional in my writting, I WILL MAKE YOU MY BUSINESS!! - obviously I do not take critic very well; good night ya'll! heading to Under the Radar for my niece's big Three Zero birthday bash; Yes I am that old!

* drops microphone and waltzes off stage*

Deliah Ipupa Kenyan Top Models Liza Mucheru Patricia Mbela Phenomenal Kenyan women POISA Wanjiru Rutenberg Zohre Esmaeili

06:37

As you may well know Sai Sankoh is the woman who inspired this blog in the first place. So she will be featured randomly here and off for no apparent reason other than she is Sai being Sai. The lovely Sai went GLAM SHORT!!! what can I say, I really love her short hair do I sent her a long marriage proposal, that she turned down for obvious reason. For those of us who are going bald. Enjoy yourself.

AM digging that whole look so much I have decided jeans fo life!

The other day, Angelina brought something to my attention "TRUE LOVE" our forever glamourous glossy magazine that leaves you in awe every time you  look at it. That reminded me that I had been meaning to review Couture Africa Magazine - the Launch issue for the longest time; So now am going to do just that, then next time I am going to do this months TRUE LOVE. - "Grab some popcorn darling its too early to drink wine", though in my opinion it is never too early to drink wine because in some parts of the world its 6pm right now!

COUTURE AFRICA REVIEW

When I saw this magazine on the racks I was so so excited. I like new things, and anyway this country needs more fashion magazines. And look at that cover isn't it just nice? and then it is THE LAUNCH ISSUE, so as you can imagine my excitement and expectations are very high. I am thinking now here is someone who is going to give TRUE LOVE and their friends a run for their money!!!!

The people behind Couture.

Before this there is a double contents page. I have never seen a magazine with contents filling both pages like that, so I have decided its new art. I am automatically impressed by the editorial team, look at them, all smiley shiny teeth and they are excited as I am. They look smart, fashion forward and glamourous. Surely only good things can follow.

Then BAMM!!! Editor's page, there is Olive all smiles and telling us about new beginnings, I am thinking this is going to be good. I am already very impressed.

She really does have nice nails.

On page 8 there is a behind the scenes of the cover and other various shots, that I do not think is necessary but what the heck.  By the time we get to the obligatory events page (I do not know why kenyan magazines feel the need to always tell us in several thousand pictures the parties they attended). These parties by the way is always them and their friends. You would think kenya has only 300 inhabitants. 

The first party is Kachés. You know she of the 5euro clothes from is it Spain? No the clothes are not 5 Euros, they just look that way.

Aki some of these white folks are cheating us. Look at that white dress up there, I am sure Angie has some very nice clothes for old ladies. Okay let me stop being mean:-) Angie has some very nice clothes that you need to look at.

That page was followed by calender, what fashionable things that were to happen in that month. Personally I think a double page with all those pictures is not necessary but that is just me.

But in general, not bad, seriously I do not mind this at all. The fact that chicken or are those scampis is the picture that went with fashion week is a bit disturbing, but I do not have to be bitchy about every little thing. I  mean, they gave Nairobi fashion week a person and Kenya Fashion Week chicken. All those 8 fashion forward people in the editorial team sat down in a board room and decided, lets give Kenya Fashion Week chicken. Impressive!

There is no story that goes with these nice legs and pumps other than what you are seeing there. It also important to note that THESE legs belong to one of the employees. These legs and feet belong to the Fashion Editor - Namnyak Odupoy.

You might feel inclided to ask yourself, the time Namnyak was doing the legs thing who was taking care of fashion? I did, but I have decided multitasking is a big thing over at Couture Africa.

At this stage I am already overwhelmed by the size of the fonts; the person who was in charge of that department, I think has semi blindess in the final stages going on to complete darkness blind; because this person also LOVES fonts, in this Issue they have used a total of I think 67 fonts. I may be exaggerating a bit because I did not do a straight count but then again it could be 487 different fonts in different shapes and sizes and colours - I am sure Orie would love this kind of over the top use of all things you like. I think Orie's motto in life is bigger, brighter is always better. If you have never heard of Orie Rogo Manduli, you need to move to another planet like yesterday.

A fashion magazine without Annabel Onyango in this country is not a fashion magazine. This page was not so hard to get, on the left there, they are telling you about Outfit 1. Outfit 2 etc but the pictures are not numbered, so you just have to go all magic in there because they are telling us OUTFIT3 WORK "For work I always want to look dressed up" I decided that is the outfit I am not seeing where she is wearing red pumps. The others I can guess from description. That whole paragraph is as confused as I am.

Do not mind the small scary looking photo that is about to fall inside the magazine, thats me and my camera, she looks very nice in the magazine. This is under "KINKY HAIR CARE". Now look to the left, do you think it is necessary that they took the hair from the model's head and put it on the table next the shampoos, conditioners and oils, so we know it is kinky? In my personal opinion if you are going to tell me about hair in a magazine, LEAVE THE DAMN HAIR ON THE MODEL's HEAD!!

You may also want to know that this model is..... yes you guessed it!!! this is the Fashion Editor- Namnyak. They really love her, me too.

EDITORIAL

I LOVED loooved the editorial. (this particular one. There is another one there in the same magazine that has different shades of disturbing all over it). I know some of you may not be feeling Katungulu's collection here but I really liked it, the prices not so much, but there are women in this country that can afford that.

I think Katungulu Mwendwa is a kenyan designer to look out for. I can see her in the international fashion weeks around the globe. The make-up too I liked, it is ART.

Good job there Katungulu, thumbs up!!. kama ni mzuri ni mzuri. Props too to the stylist here, she/he got the right shoes and accessories to go with the shoot. Love the model too, this one was on point. Feel free to disagree.

IMPORTANT ISSUES

Contaceptives is a very important issue and it was covered very well, but was it necessary to have 50,000 sperms flying across the page only to be blocked by a red line of contraceptives in red before they reach the end of the page?!! Surely if you are going to use that amount of sperms have at least one leading sperm to reach the end of the page so we know that there are some deadly sperms out there in some men that must be stopped at all costs, otherwise what is the whole point.

This next article made me cry.

Are you counting the fonts?:-) anyway, the story is about the alcoholic lady who has changed her ways and has written a book. A very inspiring book and story if I may add. Now Mwikali Lati who conducted this interview and is also the  Sub Editor and I need to sit down and talk. Then I need to talk to Olive the Editor, if Tori Kioko - Editorial Assistant and I could also have a word. In fact bring in the whole team. It beats me how this disaster skipped them and went to print!

Sijui they were drinking the muratina while conducting this interview ama now what happened? Leave the question aside because it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. The answer!!!!! "Yes it is. If you take muratina and you are not used to it you will get heartburn because nowadays they are even using yeast to make it. Something that was never used to happen?!!!!! That is what I call beating stories. aki hata nimechoka. 

Muratina is bad I tell you. Even in small doses.

Then the closing word......

The very last question and answer, the final word to your interview, the last word you are giving to your readers, this is how you want them to remember you, you have talked and talked and now its over this is how your put your final word!!!!!!

In fact I do not even feel like talking about the other part of the fashion editorial, the website and the farmers choice pork they slapped us with on the back. You know it is not Couture Kenya it is AFRICA, now imagine how those naija I dislike are having a ball... Ahggghhh

Couture Africa Sai Sankoh. Katungulu Mwendwa

04:10

First off

its going to be a marathon and as you well know, no good story ever started with a salad.

I have been away and I just woke up because bloggers are being awarded, aki if I had know I would have taken ka Toi seriously, but that is nothing to worry about I was busy working, you know the kind of work that pays rent and stuff.

I missed everything! but I was doing pretty good on the job front, me I don't lie, I was in the DN and shit.

And when you have been in the papers, you behave accordingly. So I was seen on several occasions at Villa Rosa Kempinski. 

Drinking expensive coffee. Expensive water, that water is 950KSH, when I tell you its expensive, am not joking.. Expensive beer!!! Expensive food.

I trust you are by now sufficiently jealous. If not yet, then please know I was also being interviewed by bloggers around the globe, because I am a very, important person. If you do not believe, read the interview HERE!!!

There are disadvantages that are not really disadvantages that come with this kind of importance but trust me I am feeling it - I grew fat! That is not necessarily the Kempinski life, really my life usually looks like this in the evening.... 

Not exactly, but more or less. You can now breath easy.

The body is clever, and it tells us things that we just ignore; It started this way, I was taking a bike (boda boda) from state house road, no buses go there and my mercedes was at CMC. When I lifted my leg to panda, I had that terrible noise TRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!. Right between my crack. It may sound funny now but then it was not, because I had another meeting. Warning number one; me huko I do not care am still stuffing meself with matumbo and kadhalika.

Several months later we are in Kisumu on a jobo, out there near Tuskys I meet those boys with the weighing machines, I weigh myself, that thing is reading 63kg!! needless to say I tukanad him and told him to stop operating faulty machines. I go home and try one of my my jeans I had carried, it doesnt even go beyond the thighs!!! Warning number 2!

After this jobo, my Cuzo, who was my boss decides we are going to Mombasa to celebrate. Me in my cleverness I carried 3 of my short shorts and a bikini, nothing else. We fika over there. I try on the first shorts..

mind you those shorts used to be buggy.

My cuzo has mercy on me and gives me one of her dresses. Now it is obvious that I had not worn a dresse in quite sometime, because I noticed - my thighs where touching, as in when I walk the thighs rub against each other, a very alien thing to me, so half of the holidays I was walking legs apart like a circumcised person. Is there anything worse? possibly.

I get back home, then I start noticing things, (yeah I had noticed nothing before, I have selective amnesia). First things first, I try most of my shirts, my arms are too fat, as in my arms cannot go through sleeves. Two, 18 pairs of my jeans cannot go passed my knees...

Thank you.

I am feeling the depression, so now I have done that re-run, of what evil things I must have eaten and or drunk, the devils that might be in my closet sewing my clothes tighter and its just not adding up. And as usual and for only God knows what reasons, you have to have more reasons as to why you have added this kind of "sudden" amount of weight. Yeah it was very sudden.  I did not notice anything (if you are at this point with me and just did a pregnancy test, you need professional help). SO next reason. I did notice I am still somewhat stuck in the ex zone and I was doing a lot of drunk texting and calling and being just all shades of crazy..(must be the major reason for adding this kind of not explainable weight). Frankly I do not know why this Ex factor keeps cropping up, as in really what part of "E" and "X" is difficult to understand. 

Anyway, I think this EX factor situation is like a drug, you get over it but you still have lapses, because just the other day I was with June, then after a few; I was already talking some stupid things of how we should casually drop by his local, CASUALLY DROP BY!!! she gave me this withering bitch please look, I wachad that storo haraka haraka - God bless good friends - who save you from cheap embarrassments!  I repeat, why I do it, I do not know! ... am already thinking we need a soundtrack to go with this story, it is already sounding extremely pathetic (more wine please, and at this point am not going to be picky, red, white, rose, drosty hof, carton whatever)..

Did you know that a man can make a woman crazy, as in batshit crazy of walking on the streets naked and talking to imaginary friends? but seriously,

You have been there, we have all been there!! unless ofcourse you married you highschool sweetheart (God bless you girlfriend if you did, you are a rare special human). Then there was the little small factor of my dad telling me that I am still very young and can still get a husband; The universe is fucking against me!!! But I have taken comfort in the amazing life I have. Great friends, and generally am alive, that is good, I am walking a lot, not all the time but I am trying, drinking lots of fluids (questionable are these fluids) but fluids all the same, and I am doing some yoga, I got some videos on Youtube, I do the routines most of the time, but sometimes I do them mentally. I am in a good place.

Am ambitious like that! This is really short, but start here. There are more vids and tuts on this; start pole pole and progress upwards to the 1hour 55 minutes I downloaded and have never gone past 16 minutes. Baby steps.

NOW, WHILE I WAS AWAY...

Yaani I leave you kidogo like this and you are already doing your own things. The other day I was at Adams Arcade just minding my own business at the chips place when this very well casually dressed woman comes in. She is wearing leggings, a jacket (blazer) and flats and generally looks very nice.. And as you know I like to look at good things twice... then a mama turns and I see a very depressing situation.

okay thats not her, but you get where I am going with this.

My friend, leggings are not pants!!!!!!!!!!!

You now see women walking all over the place..... (yaani you thought I was not going to go into fashion).. please.

Anyway. sheer Leggins are good, they are light and warm and sexy and versatile  but they are not PANTS! And you know am beginning to think the mirror is a liar, because you can look at yourself in the mirror,  the sheer is reflecting, and the mirror too, so you think its okay. NO it s not! This is how it looks like out there where you are busy strutting your stuff on the streets of Nairobi.

The mirror was obviously cheating you, or maybe you need to draw the curtains! And do you think it is really necessary to be a walking anatomy lesson?

I know the look you are going for but, this is not it!!! kwanza this one picked a brown one then decided to wear big white panties.

Thats how you look like from the back, I am telling you the truth. And do not think because your skin tone is Lupita its not showing, IT IS!!!

and the front is no better, trust me.

Do not do this woman, you are embarrassing your children and your future grandchildren.

I know you may think these options are boring, but I think they are not, they are very sexy (we all like that) and fashion forward (I like that)

You've got to cover your ass darling, this is chic, clean, and really the best way to go.

Did I mention cover your ass? Way to go girl! way to go.

Here is another link at GLAMOUR, cool ways to wear those leggings. Go stare at those pictures. And really disco is over, dead gone, do not go there, just forget it.

No! leave those to your children.

Seriously, NO!

There is another thing that I have to constantly remind folks, these are my opinions and I am not Moses holding the tablets. The other day this girl came on to facebook and asked me where my shop is, I told her I do not have a shop and that I am not doing much large scale buying now, except for specific clients, then she comes back and tells me ati "then why are you advertising if you are not selling to everyone?" Me huko thinking, now whats wrong with this one? READ!

That will be all for today, as you know

This is obviously the main reason I have not been nominated for anything on the  Kenyan Blog Awards 2014. But please click on that link and vote for your favourite blogger, I have voted for Biko, whose writting I have a serious crush on, and of course Nancie Mwai, who I am hopping will take all awards pertaining to fashion blogging home, VOTE VOTE  (yes I have) and Nancie is expecting a baby and really all pregnant fashion forward women should rush to her blog and save all her pictures on their desktops and tablets, she looks stunning on this journey, not that I expected anything less.

PS. That story of big panties is coming kesho. Loads of love.

xx

big panties BikoZulu Kempinski leggings Nancie Mwai short shorts short skirts some more wine wine

11:55