COUTURE REVIEW, SAI, AND WHATEVER COMES UP IN MY HEAD WHILE I AM WRITING THIS.

As you may well know Sai Sankoh is the woman who inspired this blog in the first place. So she will be featured randomly here and off for no apparent reason other than she is Sai being Sai. The lovely Sai went GLAM SHORT!!! what can I say, I really love her short hair do I sent her a long marriage proposal, that she turned down for obvious reason. For those of us who are going bald. Enjoy yourself.

AM digging that whole look so much I have decided jeans fo life!

The other day, Angelina brought something to my attention "TRUE LOVE" our forever glamourous glossy magazine that leaves you in awe every time you  look at it. That reminded me that I had been meaning to review Couture Africa Magazine - the Launch issue for the longest time; So now am going to do just that, then next time I am going to do this months TRUE LOVE. - "Grab some popcorn darling its too early to drink wine", though in my opinion it is never too early to drink wine because in some parts of the world its 6pm right now!

COUTURE AFRICA REVIEW

When I saw this magazine on the racks I was so so excited. I like new things, and anyway this country needs more fashion magazines. And look at that cover isn't it just nice? and then it is THE LAUNCH ISSUE, so as you can imagine my excitement and expectations are very high. I am thinking now here is someone who is going to give TRUE LOVE and their friends a run for their money!!!!

The people behind Couture.
Before this there is a double contents page. I have never seen a magazine with contents filling both pages like that, so I have decided its new art. I am automatically impressed by the editorial team, look at them, all smiley shiny teeth and they are excited as I am. They look smart, fashion forward and glamourous. Surely only good things can follow.

Then BAMM!!! Editor's page, there is Olive all smiles and telling us about new beginnings, I am thinking this is going to be good. I am already very impressed.

She really does have nice nails.

On page 8 there is a behind the scenes of the cover and other various shots, that I do not think is necessary but what the heck.  By the time we get to the obligatory events page (I do not know why kenyan magazines feel the need to always tell us in several thousand pictures the parties they attended). These parties by the way is always them and their friends. You would think kenya has only 300 inhabitants. 
The first party is Kach├ęs. You know she of the 5euro clothes from is it Spain? No the clothes are not 5 Euros, they just look that way.
Aki some of these white folks are cheating us. Look at that white dress up there, I am sure Angie has some very nice clothes for old ladies. Okay let me stop being mean:-) Angie has some very nice clothes that you need to look at.

That page was followed by calender, what fashionable things that were to happen in that month. Personally I think a double page with all those pictures is not necessary but that is just me.
But in general, not bad, seriously I do not mind this at all. The fact that chicken or are those scampis is the picture that went with fashion week is a bit disturbing, but I do not have to be bitchy about every little thing. I  mean, they gave Nairobi fashion week a person and Kenya Fashion Week chicken. All those 8 fashion forward people in the editorial team sat down in a board room and decided, lets give Kenya Fashion Week chicken. Impressive!

There is no story that goes with these nice legs and pumps other than what you are seeing there. It also important to note that THESE legs belong to one of the employees. These legs and feet belong to the Fashion Editor - Namnyak Odupoy.

You might feel inclided to ask yourself, the time Namnyak was doing the legs thing who was taking care of fashion? I did, but I have decided multitasking is a big thing over at Couture Africa.

At this stage I am already overwhelmed by the size of the fonts; the person who was in charge of that department, I think has semi blindess in the final stages going on to complete darkness blind; because this person also LOVES fonts, in this Issue they have used a total of I think 67 fonts. I may be exaggerating a bit because I did not do a straight count but then again it could be 487 different fonts in different shapes and sizes and colours - I am sure Orie would love this kind of over the top use of all things you like. I think Orie's motto in life is bigger, brighter is always better. If you have never heard of Orie Rogo Manduli, you need to move to another planet like yesterday.

A fashion magazine without Annabel Onyango in this country is not a fashion magazine. This page was not so hard to get, on the left there, they are telling you about Outfit 1. Outfit 2 etc but the pictures are not numbered, so you just have to go all magic in there because they are telling us OUTFIT3 WORK "For work I always want to look dressed up" I decided that is the outfit I am not seeing where she is wearing red pumps. The others I can guess from description. That whole paragraph is as confused as I am.

Do not mind the small scary looking photo that is about to fall inside the magazine, thats me and my camera, she looks very nice in the magazine. This is under "KINKY HAIR CARE". Now look to the left, do you think it is necessary that they took the hair from the model's head and put it on the table next the shampoos, conditioners and oils, so we know it is kinky? In my personal opinion if you are going to tell me about hair in a magazine, LEAVE THE DAMN HAIR ON THE MODEL's HEAD!!

You may also want to know that this model is..... yes you guessed it!!! this is the Fashion Editor- Namnyak. They really love her, me too.

EDITORIAL

I LOVED loooved the editorial. (this particular one. There is another one there in the same magazine that has different shades of disturbing all over it). I know some of you may not be feeling Katungulu's collection here but I really liked it, the prices not so much, but there are women in this country that can afford that.


I think Katungulu Mwendwa is a kenyan designer to look out for. I can see her in the international fashion weeks around the globe. The make-up too I liked, it is ART.



Good job there Katungulu, thumbs up!!. kama ni mzuri ni mzuri. Props too to the stylist here, she/he got the right shoes and accessories to go with the shoot. Love the model too, this one was on point. Feel free to disagree.

IMPORTANT ISSUES

Contaceptives is a very important issue and it was covered very well, but was it necessary to have 50,000 sperms flying across the page only to be blocked by a red line of contraceptives in red before they reach the end of the page?!! Surely if you are going to use that amount of sperms have at least one leading sperm to reach the end of the page so we know that there are some deadly sperms out there in some men that must be stopped at all costs, otherwise what is the whole point.

This next article made me cry.
Are you counting the fonts?:-) anyway, the story is about the alcoholic lady who has changed her ways and has written a book. A very inspiring book and story if I may add. Now Mwikali Lati who conducted this interview and is also the  Sub Editor and I need to sit down and talk. Then I need to talk to Olive the Editor, if Tori Kioko - Editorial Assistant and I could also have a word. In fact bring in the whole team. It beats me how this disaster skipped them and went to print!

Sijui they were drinking the muratina while conducting this interview ama now what happened? Leave the question aside because it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. The answer!!!!! "Yes it is. If you take muratina and you are not used to it you will get heartburn because nowadays they are even using yeast to make it. Something that was never used to happen?!!!!! That is what I call beating stories. aki hata nimechoka. 

Muratina is bad I tell you. Even in small doses.

Then the closing word......
The very last question and answer, the final word to your interview, the last word you are giving to your readers, this is how you want them to remember you, you have talked and talked and now its over this is how your put your final word!!!!!!
In fact I do not even feel like talking about the other part of the fashion editorial, the website and the farmers choice pork they slapped us with on the back. You know it is not Couture Kenya it is AFRICA, now imagine how those naija I dislike are having a ball... Ahggghhh


9 comments:

  1. hahahaha Damaris,i love such articles!amazing how you analyzed this magazine,to be honest am not a big fan of kenyan fashion magazines because they just dont get it,i would rather stick to True Love South Africa its worth it....they are strictly in the business of fashion nothing more nothing less you cant compare them to true love kenya...as for Couture magazine...well...it was their first issue so mistakes are bound to be made...well,maybe they styled up in their other issue...
    Great Blog you got here!

    www.thevonetteway.com

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    1. I agree with you Vonette though TRUE LOVE KENYA has improved abit. Initially it was more or less of copy and paste of TRUE LOVE SA. I really hope we get to do things our own Kenyan way without copying what SAs are doing. They do things authentaically Mzansi..nothing more nothing less!!

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    2. Vonnette, love the SA True Love. One day we shall get it. I have hope though it is dwindling. I think that Magazines have a format Wacuka, I am not for copypasting but if you see some of the worlds leading fashion magazines, they have a similar format and if it is not broken I do not see the need to fix that. And yes True Love has improved, but I have to review this months copy:-) am not letting that one go.

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  2. LOOOOL...Damaris you are so crazy.I had not noticed the muratina thing...guess I didn't read.I give them props for trying something new but you my lady have cracked me up.
    www.thefunshionmistress.blogspot.com

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  3. My goodness this is hilarious!! But they should see this, couture in all meaning DOESN'T allow for spelling mistakes! I feel it should focus most on fashion only, they should leave lifestyle stories to other magazines
    missvavavum.blogspot.com

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  4. Hahahahahahaha you have made my day! What!!! Your observations are on point! I gave up on Kenyan lifestyle magazines when True Love slapped a wig on a cover model on the features page that had a purple parting or was it the lighting anyway that photo should never have made it to print the model looked like she had a purple scalp. But seriously the editorial team for this magazine could not hire one of those proofreaders what are they called again copy somethings to proofread for them eish LAUNCH FAIL!!!

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  5. Hahahahaha...... That addiction disease is what I have since I started reading your blog.Aki this article and how you crowned it with the man jumping out of the window has done it for me.Keep it up!

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  6. hahah so hilarious, they should definately read this and hire you to proff read their next edition. while its true that its their first edition, they must set the standards high especially with their name courture africa.
    lastly about the models, abit more creativity from them would make it interesting, there are thousands of models out there, even plus size who can change the face of fashion in kenya.
    true love SA is on a whole other level, i still read their 2012 issues over and over again!

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