International Women's Day ft. My mother, her Minions and What I have been meaning to tell You

Today is that day, that has been set aside for women. I must bow at the feet of my mother Ms. Naomi Odoc. My mother did not change her name after the wedding, I do not know how she got away with that in 1972.

I do not think about her as much as when she left us for good. But this woman not only birthed me and a bunch of other incredible humans, but when I think about her the far in between moments, I know I stand on the shoulders of a giant! She was incredible, a force and a teacher. My mama was a primary school teacher, very religious, a matriarch in every sense of that word and truly, the people's nurse. So today I must salute her. She kind of raised us single handedly. My father travelled a lot. 

So here is to you Mother, my Queen, my forever Daffodil. We remember you mama, for your selflessness, your unconditional and unfailing love, for sharing your life with us. You were a LION!

You know most women who are in strong relationships are in a way also single parents. We still live in a world where father goes out to hunt and mom takes care of home. Even when the both of you are having the same earning power, you are still expected to be home and cook. A woman, she holds the fort down. 

The day mom left us we were torn. Shredded to a million pieces, but because she would have slapped our faces all through to Jerusalem and back if we did not hold our heads up, we put on our best brave faces on that day and did the weary smiles. My siblings are crazy but we come from the same womb and we know that.

Eh we tried.

What I have been meaning to tell you.

LOVE the age you are.

It is very liberating. I never understand why we lie about our ages or we are embarrassed about it. When we are younger we want to be older so we are lying we are 21 when we are 16. After 30 everything starts going down hill, I mean literally, the breasts start heading south. The way I see it, your age is a testament in itself, of how long you have lived this earth and if you have more years under your belt it means you have seen a lot. You have been there done that, that is something we should all be proud of.

Saying you are 32 when you are 47 does not make you 32, it makes you a lying 47 year old. Iman Bowie is almost 60!! she looks fantastic!! If you like looking young and being young, don't lie woman. Change your lifestyle, work out, eat healthy, surround yourself with things that make you happy,  trust me, you WILL look younger. Then you will be rewarded by the priceless look on people's faces when you tell them your age. If you are a youngling, enjoy your youth sister, be young, be your age, live take risks. Being old is around the corner, do not worry, it will come to you faster than you think.

Otherwise embrace your age and stop disrespecting the skin that has been holding your insides all these years. Love your skin, please try and love your skin tone. But if you choose to change it, I will not question that decision.

Be a Sister. Stand UP. Show Up.

I know we bitch about each other, this is life and some women are so terrible they must be bitched about. But we must try as often as we can to bitch less and up lift more. Imma be straight here. We all have vaginas, that is why we are women. There is nothing you have worked for, made or whatever you own that makes your vagina better than that of the other woman. Nothing. What is in your brains or in your bank account does not mean your vagina is laced with honey. But we tend to think that, then we act all shocked when the husband starts having sex with the house help that never saw the door of Class 4.

On money matters: We have a life and most importantly we are mothers or will be. When a woman becomes a mother everything becomes secondary. Now how I choose to feed my babies is none of your business. You cannot look down at a prostitute because she has chosen to charge for what you are giving away for free. If a woman is winning, stand on the sidelines and clap while she walks to her swimming pool. But should a sister come to you and ask for help or you see without a doubt she needs help? Stand UP. Ultimately we all want the same things, a good comfortable life, we want our babies to have the best of life, the end does not justify the means. We will fight tooth and nail to have these things. Vera Sidika is holding her front down with all she has got, she is using everything she has got, so are you and so is Hilary Clinton, so is your mama mboga, so is the woman serving you coffee at Java, so is Shebesh.  You, her, Hilary, all women just trying to survive. Strong. We try, we make mistakes, we fall, then we dust our behinds and rise up. So if you are not paying my rent or helping me put food on my table? do not undermine my hustle game. Stick to your lane.

How people treat you? You taught them.

Friends are the family you chose

My mother taught me that, and this is across board, in all relationships, be it between you and your partner, your siblings, children, employees, your neighbours, any kind of relationship. You project from the inside to the last of your outfit how you will be treated by people, so work on that.

Have you ever been left by a dude who was treating you like fresh shit and the woman after you he ends up treating like a queen, he literally kisses the ground she walks on? It is not juju, you were just selling yourself short. I have learnt that the very hard way, I know what am saying. Nobody is going to treat you like a queen if you are not acting like one.

Holding the chequebook does not always make you right.

You are the one I want? Right?

The reason most of us end up looking like ourselves on the streets, is because when we have some money we think we know everything, now you are walking into restaurants and being a THOT. That is the shit that gets your food spat on. Now your are swaying your behind into a shop and acting crazy, so they will let you have your way because you are the customer and the customer is always right. This is a problem. Serious money is silent, it is subtle. Pay those who can be paid to make you look good, and step back and learn from those who know. Be nice to people. Life is crazy ya'll. Do not shit on the hand that fed or feeds you. Do not burn your bridges. Do not start a fight, but if a bitch starts one, finish it!

And my poor sisters, I know we are many, this is why I started this blog in the first place. If you see something on the net or a sister spending on something that is obviously out of your league? Just step on the sidewalk and clap while a sister is walking past with her 4000$ Versace Skirt. It is her money, she worked for it and she should be allowed to spend it without you juggling your judgemental tits in her face! And yes there are skirts that pricey. That story of sijui kwani it talks etc is becoming boring. You should be a graceful pauper, you cant be poor and nasty, thats just ugly. Swallow that jealousy my sister.

Sister with money, if tomorrow you wake up and feel like you want to go rent the entire top floor of Kempinski for you and your lover, GO ahead!

Own Your Style.

You are aware of course because you are reading this blog, that there are a million bloggers and magazines out there telling you what to wear and how to wear it? Well that is all good, but when it boils down, you  make the choice. Dont just copy left and right fuaaahh. Just because it looks good on me does not mean it will look good on you. Know your style, get comfortable with it. Whatever you choose to wear? OWN IT! Really it does not matter if you are wearing a sack with potato buttons. How you are carrying it makes the difference. Wear your outfit. The dress should not wear you, like these women I see on the streets pulling down their mini skirts every third step they take. No.

Let me digress kidogo, when buying skirts or dresses, try to get the ones the back are longer, not that highlow thing, it is just a very slight length difference. I am saying think about your ass when buying dresses.

YOU are beautiful, you are perfect, You are ENOUGH.

You are YOU.

Be BOLD

Be SHAMELESS

Be AWESOME

Stay Gifted.

Ps.

I usually edit in bits but I wanted to leave you with Juliana. My posts are all work in progress, even I read them and sometimes I see a line and I think oh I should have said that this or that way, so you might want to check on posts you like again:-)

Be good to yourself woman.
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