Of Great Hair and Professionalism

I have decided to let my hair loose, really loose, one of my readers just told me that I should not shove stuff down you throat and act professional. From now on I am going to be so professional, you will be wondering why the New York Times have not hired me yet.

I am a professional, that is why I have a message for that girl who said I am not professional. YOU WANT TO TELL ME SOMETHING?

Si I have said that like pro!

That aside, this story of Samburu men and German women, it has been on the news since Friday, same story, is it even news now? That is not relevant to anything on this blog, but it is running now on TV for the umpteenth time, and I do not wish to suffer alone.



The Short hair

You know how India Arie said it so well? "I am not my hair"
I think we should talk about hair, because I just cut off my hair, by just am talking about some 7 weeks ago, and since then it has grown a mighty 1 inch!!
A lot of Kenyan women are embracing the natural look YAAAAY to us. But that does not mean we should make the sisters in weaves and wigs feel bad about themselves, I find the African Americans who go natural particularly militant and just nasty to the the weave and wigs quorum.

Love you hair. Or lets just say love what is covering your head:-) I look great in short hair, and younger! I also think I look hot it long weaves, but I don't. Just sad. I tried it already. I look like a tranny in long weaves. I have stopped that maneno, from now braids and short weaves, you've got to know when to give up on somethings.

Seriously, what was I thinking? Okay I was going for the Naomi look. But what a mess!

Because I have gone short short, and I know there is nothing as difficult as having short hair months on end, and you want to do something but all you keep thinking is dear Lord keep me away from Relaxers. There is nothing that bores me as having the same hairstyle for more than 2 weeks, so having my hair short all these weeks, is a personal achievement, that needs to be applauded by all who can read, see and hear.

Today I am just going to throw in some women I think look really fabulous in short hair, be inspired. Meet some of my rock star friends!

Flaviana Matata
By the way,  this really short hair,  bald head, its not for every head. Your head should be very smooth, like the way you left your mothers womb. It should not have milima na vibonde. For instance if mashilingis kulad your head as a child, you can't go very short, trust me, I am saying this from experience. I dont know what Mashilingis are in English, it is a disease, a bad disease, whose scars will haunt and embarrass you as an adult.


Kaone Kairo

This is my girl Andi, bila makeup, I want my hair to lock like this, and really my hair is at this length now and I have done the wet towel thing, nothing. My hair just does its own things, so depressing.

Andi all made up.

When my hair is all grown up and is shaggy and has volume again, it is going to look like Lira's.

How can someone look this good?

Surely will it every happen? this is my hairs ambitions. (Lira's Hair) And really, its not that I have never been here before. I had this look already until the Dark and Lovely devil took over, I do not know what made me do it, relaxing, but I have this thing, if I see  somebody with a nice style I want it. But we shall overcome someday.
Just look how close I was.

I saw this mama in town with such a cute blow out, it was a struggle not walking into a beauty shop and picking up a Relaxer!!
I think I should do those hair journals, people do, because I do not have hobbies. You know the way most women have problems with weight, you keep trying different diets? I am like that with my hair, I have tried many things, then I go on a neglecting mode. For instance this year, other than the cutting, I don't remember having done much to it.

I think Emmy Kosgey has the same hair problem as me, because she has had the same length for a while, unless she trims it, which I doubt, but I love her, and really what she has done to the music scene of this country, she brought class, and loads of great style to gospel music!

Emmy Kosgey

Recently Jules, told me that chilli is good for hair growth, and that I should use a drop of that Naija pepe oil. I have it already, but who wants to walk around smelling like naija soup. That is a stalling tactic. I hear that thing washas kweli kweli and where I am at now, I might mwaga the whole bottle on my hair.  I am going to try some drops and tell you about it kesho. Its good I don't have a man now.

I have also been told that rubbing onions on your hair is good (Really isn't this worse than pepe oil) and please don't tell me about carrot oil, I don't know what Indian oil, I have tried them.

Look at me, now am back to Flaviana!

The only thing I have not tried and Kui swears by it, is Kaminomoto. She used her moms, I don't know how she came with it to school (high school) but anyway it was her moms, and she says this thing is the shit! But since pepe soup oil is cheaper, am going to try that one first if it fails, KAMINOMOTO!

I have suggested it to my friend Vera, who went and bought it right away and says it works wonders. 

I am going to try everything because on top of my hair having ambitions, it has dreams too, that one day it will grow into locks as long as Jules. Sema vision 2050!

Those are dreadlocks, and they are way longer than that now. Let a girl's hair dream. Between I don't know why I did not mention this on the wedding segment, but Jules does these amazing personalised cards, invites, gift bags etc, check her out at MahoganyJo

Okay that Jules idea is a bit over the top yawa. It is impossible.
Change of plans. I am going to go JOY MBOYA!!! I love her, and its not like that hair is her original idea, but she is the only ultra urban woman I know who has carried the Turkana woman's hairstyle so effortlessly chic and cool.

Joy Mboya
And look at her at 52!! We have role models, I love what she is doing with the GoDown Art Centre, an inspiration. I hope I look this good when am 52, which is just around the corner. 

I think those jungus are laughing because they just heard me say I hope I look that good at 52.

Joy Mboya is rockstar, seriously who can pull this hairstyle off while wearing a leather jacket! So am waiting on my hair to grow kidigo again then I am chopping it off, to the original Mohawk! Yes I can do that, I dont work in an office. You cannot work in a bank and have this hairstyle, unless you own that bank. There are actually somethings positive about not having an 8-5 job.

And how are her teeth in a nice white perfect row, am sure she does not use that expensive good for nothing toothpaste I use.

Talking of mohawks, there is this really tired hairstyle, tired because it has been going on for a while,  I am sure you have seen it. The hair is braided into abuja lines, I think that is what  they are called, then they take a short weave and shona it on one half of the head. so the weave is falling on one half of the head and the thick lines are on one side of the head, Can somebody please tell me what the deal their is?

Lets forget hair for a bit. Some weeks ago I was with my friend, Sandra at Uchumi. She wanted to pick up a few things, toiletry and stuff, we are looking for a good petroleum jelly. She is like me, lotions are good for the body, but for feet, only Vaseline works. So we go to the petroleum lane. Aki kenyans and copying, just below VASELINE there is BASELINE,  in a similar jar? Seriously?! Have you noticed that when you go to the cooking fat and oil lane, its the same thing,  ama there is a  rule that all cooking oils have to be in yellow containers, everybody has copied Kimbo and Cowboy, if you are old enough you know what those are. 
This is the fault of EAST AFRICA INDUSTRIES, that is why you will still hear in the village women shouting crazy things like "Mary!!!! na uniletee OMO ya TOSS"

Ok as I was saying we are on the petroleum lane, then just on the bottom shelf, I see Mafuta ya kukamua Ng'ombe. Me huko almost rolling on the floor dying of laughter. I am shedding tears. Then Sandra asks me what am laughing at. I show her the bottle. She tells me to stop laughing, her mama used to paka them that thing, it is very good! Si my laughter is cut off, she tells me to go try it. It is 40bob, what do I have to loose. YOU GUY!!!! a revelation! I have become the official ambassador of Hiyo mafuta ya Ng'ombe. It does not leave you shiny like Vaseline, my feet and body are baby soft, I even use it on my face! it is FANTASTIC!!

I shall never laugh again at things I don't know, again ever!

BRAIDS, I love like totally loooove Braids

As you can see I am making good use of that word totally very well! We will do braids kesho, am tired,  and if I don't stop professionalism will end.

1 comment:

  1. Jules yule yule2 July 2013 at 03:29

    LOL this post is hilarious! How did I miss it. I'm going to buy Mafuta ya Ngombe!