Toi Market

Before I get into todays topic. So now for the ladies, who just love those 1984 gloves, here is an elegant alternative, really those gloves must stop, or lets give them a brake kidogo, I am talking about these gloves

Tacky just tacky and mind you here I chose the best I could find.

So lets the games continue.

BRIDESMAID'S and MAID OF HONOR'S OUTFIT

We have discussed this matter rather extensively with the girls what is good and what is bad, what is acceptable and what is not. but you know it always boils down to looking good, as much as your bridesmaids and maid of honor should not out shine you, they should look good, they should compliment the whole picture, and they should be happy standing next to you.

Look at that.

Okay lets discuss the above picture. First and foremost, you can see that those dresses are a classic, meaning even if you pay for it, which is the norm these days in Kenya, you have to pay for your outfit as a maid. Now I always say if you are going to make me pay for a dress, this dress should at least serve me on other occasions after your wedding! The blue and brown is a class act, the cut is flowing smoothly and the fitting for all the girls look perfect, they are complimenting the bride.

Now what is also important to note in the above picture is, ALL the girls are almost identical body size and height! That is why they can get away with a similar cut and fit. If you have not auditioned for you maids and is picking your friends and sisters who are random shapes and sizes, I have always advocated for different cuts and fitting for the girls and you can stick to the colour theme.

Maybe something like this. Though let me add that I am a friend of long flowing, and long flowing is good for almost any size, and that is my personal opinion.

am not feeling the dress of the lady in glasses. but this is okay.

On the matter of your maids spotting different colours, that is up to you, it is not what I would do but go for it if you are feeling it but keep it classy! PLEASE!

You see now here the idea is good, but I dont know why with all those colours they decided to add those tu funny funny things on their heads, that is not good at all, ata kama ni hawaii wedding, and I dont know what thse are hanging at the back of the girls far left and far right.

What you should NOT DO and is this, and really this is what you see repeatedly on our wedding shows.

Si now this is ODM wedding? and whatever happened to pressing clothes before you wear them? The fabric is wrong, and well wrong just wrong.

Another ODM wedding right there. good thing they hid their faces. Another thing to note in this look at the way the heels of that one has completely sunk into the ground. Si I was telling you to avoid hooker heels at garden weddings? how are you supposed to walk elegantly like that?

And the balloon dress that one was going for is bad.

Keep it simple keep it classy. Avoid shiny fabrics!

They brought their A game to the table. Follow suit.

Here is where I want people to take some time off and watch one of my favourite movies, Jumping the Broom and concentrate on the wedding. That is CLASS! I know they have money but you can find ways around that.

And before I forget, is it necessary to have 38 bridesmaids, you see that is where the problem comes, less is more!

I have to go. This is not over yet.

03:04

I have been meaning to write something on weddings for the longest time. That time has come. I dont know who these are on the above picture, but let me say all the things I love about it. Bride and the groom are radiant. Now you see all these weddings on the Wedding Show on Citizen TV where the bride and groom are looking like the have been forced to have a wedding and well that is not nice. Why are you sulking on your wedding day?!

I love weddings, which girl doesn't?

2. From the bit we can see of the bride's gown and general look, TOP MARKS! She has big hair so she has kept everything else minimal, just her dress and the veil.

3. The groom is spotting the classic black suit.

4. The bridesmaids, though I dont know how I feel about the sleeves there, but look good too, a nice earth tone color was chosen for the dresses.

That is more or less how you wedding should look in pictures.

So lets get on with it. First things first.

YOUR GOWN

Now I dont know how women think, but if I was getting married and scouting the market for a gown, in this age and era, my first stop would be google- google is a friend I tell you, take my word for it. So I did just that, I went to google. Loads and loads of nice things. I think what most of my women don't know is that LESS IS MORE; imprint this in your head, less is more, less is classy. And by less I dont mean you go dressed like a hooker. Take a look.

Have a good look at this whole outfit, its big at the bottom yes, but less is what has been done to it then look at her accessories, small and discrete, what you end up with is a timeless piece. You know the kind of gown where nobody will point at your pictures ten years later and go like "oh that was 1983 right?" Who wants that?

You are spoilt for choice!! So many incredibly good ideas. But noo, we have to pick ugly; please note the fabric that is used in these gown, do you see anything there shiny shiny? are you seeing them wearing all their favourite white things? The thing with us is this is the day we choose to wear all those white things we have nowhere to go with to, chocker, mara I dont know bangles, watches, clutch bags plus remember you have to hold the flowers!

And the curvy girl just sit down, because I know you want to tell me, oh my size bla bla bla... I have told you what to do with that katumbo especially on a day like this, there must be some sacrifices you are willing to make; particularly on this day!

Please note her skirt has ruffles not gathers!

And who said a curvy girl cant be sassy, I love this short skirt look below, sexy but still has loads of class.

And before you start shouting ati where are the examples, again, take a seat. Who remembers this cute mama, whose groom was acting all kinds of crazy, I think he is a pastor. She looked exquisitely flawless, radiant and picture perfect, and she is curvy! her groom nailed it too. Except for the parts where he was rolling on the grass and his best man was throwing him several shades of the "bitch please" look. That was priceless:-)

Now with all that knowledge, you know how the kenyan mama is going to do it? Your friends and yourself is cheating you that shiny is good, you want to wear satin and polyester on your wedding day because you want to be all shinny like a princess, and your best of friends is telling you oh that is just soo cute!!! Ditch that woman and get a gay guy, she is not looking out for your best interest! and really its not that I hate princess look, love it.

I love it like this.

Or this

Please (I cant say this enough) look at the way these women have accessorized! Minimal and on point, now you have seen all that then you go like this. Whats this? Why are you doing this to you and your guests?

Do I need to tell you what is wrong here? NO? I thought so.

THE AFRICAN LOOK

You may not want to have the classic white gown, that british kind of thing. You want to be an african queen!!! (bless your dear heart). That is all good. Different is always a good thing. Now in this case I strongly suggest you borrow a leaf from our naija sisters. They are experts.

Look at that!! As you can see the other thing our naija sisters have shindad us in is MAKE UP! They are too way ahead of us, but I am going to discuss that as a topic on its own. Abeg ma sista, you dont find this nice oo? If you dont find this nice, then holy water is all you need. In gallons.

There are many ideas

Find something that works for you. Our very own Paticia Mbela does amazing pieces. I had shown you that earlier here.

For the lazy one who dont want to click on that link.

This is how you add color to your gown. Not those things I was seeing at the Kisumu Fashion Week

HEAD PIECE - VEIL

This simple small piece of cloth is a disaster with most of us. First and foremost it should not look like a mosquito net you just picked off the rack from Nakumatt Supermarket. Once again, simplicity is key. Make a statement but in a subtle classy kind of way. You are the bride we can see you already, dont fear.

And you dont have to have a veil, you could go for something like this if you cant make up your mind. Very nubian, very royal.

It is not written on stone that you have to have a veil! And now on to the length, a short veil is always safe.

I love the italian veil; thats what I call it but I am sure it has a name, and the only person I ever saw it with is Jules, and I have not seen anyone with it ever since! LOVED HER VEIL to bits, this is how it looks like.

And do you see her hanging many many things around her neck? NO? why are you doing it?

Eds Note

Jules tells me the veil is called a Mantilla. Go find it!

On the length of veil unless you want to look as tacky as Mariah Carey, just dont go there; And by long I mean it is trailing 7 meters behind you. Otherwise if the word Duchess is going come before your name after you sign the marriage certificate then please by all means wear a super trail.

MAKE UP - TOO IMPORTANT. THINK OF IT THE SAME WAY YOU THINK OF YOUR CAKE.

And by that I dont mean CAKE YOUR FACE with make up, which is more or less what most of us have done in the past!

I dont know why we cant get it with the make up, yet in my opinion it is more important than the cake. Seriously how many pictures of your face are going to be on the album, and your cake?

It is an important day, for you and for your face too, so why would you let your friend who is not a make up artist work on your face? Those false eyelashes that are so huge your eyes cant open? and the glittery white eyeshadow, and then you forgot foundation even though you know your skin is bad?

Please invest in a good make up artist; And you could go for a test run, just ask around then go over and tell the makeup artist you want him/her to try out the look on your face, best try these weeks prior. If you can go for cake tasting, you can go for make up testing.

I am not done. So next we will shall go onto the brides maids and the other things that come with weddings, I am going to leave a teaser of some of the comments the girls had on what they hate on weddings, will post the rest later

Verah Vashti Okeyo: And then the bridesmaid make baloon dresses and some of them like Verah Okeyo have no 'assets' to hold the dress. Ei a stick in a basket is the thing to decribe the phenomenon omera
Connie Ketry: Those guests who come wearing jeans and branded T-shirts should be taken to the Hague..it is rude not make an effort to dress up to attend a wedding unless it is a matter of quantity over quality!(people should invite close friends )

Good night we talk later! Cheers

12:35

First before I say anything, you know what day it is, it is our day, the day of women, so before you start reading, pat yourself on the back, add your mother and or the women who raised you to that picture, salute your sisters real and fake, and raise your glasses to women great and small!

So, hallo people:-) its been long yaani mpaka am laughing at myself. It has been a month plus! Nothing from Damaris, let me just say here that I have not been sleeping, I have been serious doing serious things, but not limited to sleeping.

I have added the president to the post tittle, just because I want to ride on the elections wave. You know like those foreign journos; I have seen an article that some woman wrote an article for The African Report on the leso/kanga where that mama is claiming that women across the continent have been wearing the leso since the 19th century to show their political affiliations. I was like really? One second please...

I had intended to come back thunderous with a new president and all, but the wait has been long and I have had some break from my regular work.

Anyway, I have been meaning to talk about the HOOKER HEEL for ages so

So onto today's post the hooker heels! Let us just get on with the photo, We all know these shoes, you have seen them everywhere, on celebrities, on rich and poor people a alike, You would think these are the only shoes one the planet, and I am not saying I don't love them, I just want to say that they have their place, everything should have a time and place, for it to be appropriate and a good thing.

1. is the original hooker heels, hooker heels are sex shoes, you wear them when you intend to do this.

It is part of the uniform if you see a hooker or pole dancer not wearing, she is either struggling or is a fake.

Now, since the women who are not pole workers wanted to walk on sex shoes, somebody (God bless them) modified them a bit, so the regular woman feels like she is working the pole but in an elegant manner. Sexy, hot and fierce.

2. is YSL's closed version of the hooker heel and
3. as you can see is a very slight modification.

We ALL love the hooker heels. They give you power in an extremely sexy kind of way. You get several inches taller and you are oozing sex. Look at that.

hot sexy, just hot.

Now you know that in the past 2 years, the markets have been flooded by hooker heels which is good. But you are taking it a notch too far. And this is my personal opinion. You cannot wear hooker heels with a power suit (unless you are Olivia Pope and you are running your own show) Which most of you are not anyway.

No matter how powerful you are dressed, then you round off that outfit with hooker heels, I doubt you come off serious and a powerhouse. It kills the office look, really. I imagine the men are thinking you are about to tear off your coat and start gyrating on the photocopy machine. Is that the image you want to project?

I am open to discussion but I will not change that opinion much.

And the other thing, if you wear you hooker heels with your power suit, so what do you wear with your cocktail dress or evening gowns? No matter how great the suit or outfit looks and is very office you will still be a half hooker in those the heels.

We need to respect uniforms, even for hookers, and you cant go around in full hookers regalia and when someone calls you a hooker you say, just because I am wearing this does not make me a hooker. Imagine running to a police officer, you need help then he goes like " excuuuse me just because I am wearing a police uniform does not make me a policeman!"

With that in mind allow me to make a few suggestions. I know we looove to try out different things, which is good, but sometimes conservative is good. Something I wish our female news anchors could pick up, I dont know wether after they read the news they head straight to Black Diamonds? Frankly I dont get it. Cathrine Kasavuli always go it so well, now they all went and took advice from Lilian Muli and things are just haywire on our TVs. Bad Bad!

We are going to have a new president so, you should also hit the office next looking sharp! Ready to build the nation.

THE CLASSIC POWER PUMPS

I know you think they are ugly but please stick to them, they are even cheaper now, that everyone wants to go everywhere even to a garden party we huko umakazana na 10inch hooker heels looking all shades of crazy.

Who is cheating you that you can go to the office looking like this?!!

Anyway on the classic pumps, their game has been upped and they are looking all duper and powerful but really even the pumps your mother wore to the office in 1976 are still a classic.

Black classic is always the best and you can get away with it but if you want some colour and life, feel free. Try them, give the pumps a chance and the hooker heels a brake!!! you can thank me later. And at the office extreme high heels is not always good I know you maybe short and you want to be 5'8 but why? are you working with your height? Ok that is my personal opinion, you can go higher!

but only on friday please:-)

Pumps are not going anywhere, embrace them.

And last but not least here is some outfit suggestions. Am sure you will find a look that best suits you.

Like that! and flats on Friday if your people allow. isnt that nice?

And this is exactly how I would go to the office. okay how I go to my meetings, I dont have an office.

I love parisans, always so effortlessly chic!

COFFEE AND CRUMBS

So just before voting, Blankets and Wines happened! And for reasons best known to me and myself I did not go (read as I chose to stay home and drink the wine there) But I see nairobians are trying to outdo each other, I see there were some very well dressed people and some okay.

We are going places!!!!!!!! totally loving that girls look.

And this is how our kids dress this days, I dont know how I feel about it.

And now that hairstyle not the braids, has given me inches of flashback.

Love the dress!

Now you all know we are in delicate times, and we are very patriotic. I love the kenyan flag, for no particular reason other than I am a kenyan, I think it is the most beautiful flag in the world. It is a flag with very strong colours. That is why I do not how I feel about this coat, Love the cut though, I would suggest if you are going to make a piece from the kenyan flag, buy one very huge flag and cut out your pattern from it, too many flags is way too busy.